How to compose a speech for a ceremony
Of particular importance in the funeral ritual is the mourning, ritual speech. In the process of mourning events, the central place is taken by the ceremony of farewell, the main element of which is also the eulogy. Its purpose is to create an atmosphere of farewell, to convey to people who come to say goodbye the main positive information about the life of the deceased. Usually the funeral speech contains descriptions of significant events in the life of the deceased person, important memories of him, the key traits of his character, his lifetime achievements.
Thus, for people who do not know the deceased, his figure is disclosed from new sides, revealing the appearance of a person who lived a rich life. Competently composed mourning speech at the funeral can greatly alleviate the severity of the state of mind of relatives and friends.
For believing relatives it is especially important to hear as many warm and pleasant words as possible for the deceased. This is traditionally believed to alleviate the condition of the soul of the deceased in the afterlife.
In situations where you were not expecting the death of a loved one, it is very difficult to find the right words. In this guide you will find examples of how to comfort and support a grieving person who has lost a loved one.
Expressing your condolences is a tribute to the grieving person. This can be done in person or by calling or writing words of condolence. Your words should be appropriate as people are under stress after the death of loved ones.
It is important to listen and empathize
The person who has lost loved ones feels alone, so it is important to let the person know that this is not the case. Visit the person and spend some time with him or her.
Everyone experiences loss differently, and if the person is silent, very emotional, and constantly crying, don’t be afraid of that reaction, it’s normal. Let the person know that you are very sorry for the loss. If bodily contact is appropriate, then hug him, take his hand or touch his arm, cry together.
Some people pour out their souls, thereby alleviating their condition. It’s important to listen to the person, yes, sometimes it’s hard, but follow this advice:
1.Be patient, don’t interrupt the person who is grieving.
2. Put away the phone, especially do not answer the phone, the same applies to the laptop, turn off the TV.
3. Sit next to the grieving person, supportive with your gaze.
4.Nod and agree with him, using such expressions.
Words of encouragement for the grieving person
To support the person who is suffering, you need to speak from the heart, sincerely:
«I’m sorry for your loss»
«I am always there if you need help»
«I don’t have the words, but I’m always there and I can listen»
«We will always remember»
«This man was special»
«I pray for you and always will»
The cause of death can be anything, and situations vary. Below are examples of what to say in specific situations to support the grieving person, to express condolences, and what not to say.
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1. Words addressed to a dying person
No one is immune to death, and if someone close to you is in this situation, it is important to share this time with them.
Spend as much time as possible, hug and touch the sick person. You can say the following:
«I think about you all the time»
«I love you»
«I will be with you until the end»
It is important to take your mind off the sad thoughts, remember your funniest and happiest memories, review a photo album, a video, try to laugh.
Also, encourage the sick person to think straight, distract him or her by asking about his or her life:
«Tell me about your happiest day»
«What’s your favorite place you’ve traveled to?»
Ask questions about everyday life:
«What did you eat today?»
«How do you like the doctors? How do you like your room?»
2. When the deceased lived a long life
No matter how long a person lives, it is never enough for those who love them. To support the loved ones of the deceased, you might say:
«I have just learned of the death. I offer my sincere condolences»
«Please accept my condolences on the death. You are in my thoughts»
«He lived a great life»
3. If the death happened suddenly and unexpectedly
Losing a loved one unexpectedly is very hard. To support the grieving person, you can say these words of comfort to your loved one:
«It’s so sudden and sad»
«I’m so sorry to hear about it! We will all miss him too»
«I really want to take this pain away from you»
«I’m there for you and will help you through it»
4. Words of support for the person who has lost his or her other half
To support someone whose spouse has died, you can ask them about their significant other. Express your opinion about the loss by saying that you will also miss her or him. Think back to that person, describing the qualities of features you liked about him or her and his or her accomplishments during his or her lifetime.
5. Suicide
Not every suicide is preventable. A person who has lost a loved one to suicide may feel guilt, shame, and anger.
It is important to be there to support the grieving person. Tell the person that you are glad to see them, show sympathy, tell them how sorry you are for their loss and know what a difficult time this has been for the grieving person. Offer your company, tell them you are willing to be there for them at all times.
6. Words of support for relatives who were on bad terms with the deceased
Even if there was a complicated relationship between relatives, death is painful anyway. You can express your sympathy as follows:
Express your shock and offer sincere condolences. Say that you are very sorry and that you have no idea what the person was facing.
Inappropriate words when a death has occurred
You may think you are speaking with the best of intentions, but the stress may cause you to say things to your loved one that will hurt them. But if you still want to support the person, avoid the following statements:
«You can’t win the person back, think better of yourself.»
«You have to let it go.»
«I’m sure you can get over it, you’re strong.»
«How are you? How’s the mood?»
«Don’t forget about yourself and your loved ones who are alive.»
These phrases put pressure on the person, so they are categorically inappropriate for speech.