Obituary for Robert Brian Alfred On April 26, 2018, at the age of 48, Robert Brian Alfred. Known as Rob, Robbie (or Batman! ) to his groupies, cracked his last off-color joke on this earth and became the opening act in Heaven.
God help whoever follows him. He was born to Brenda Arnett Jones and Steven Alfred on St. Patrick’s Day (Hmm. How appropriate.
) 1970. He is now entertaining grandfather Dairl Marvin Arnett and grandmother Ila Mae Arnett. He leaves in his wake a hoard of awkward, quirky groupies including life partner Tracy Jo Tusia, daughter Kalynn Skye Alfred and her partner Standing Bear Teehee, grandson Matthew Liam Gates, granddaughters Khaleesi René Smith, River Bear Teehee and Nora Clover Tusia, mother Brenda Arnett Jones and husband Donald Jones, fathers Gregory Bryant and Steven Robert Alfred, sister Leslie Bryant, sister Kimberly Durossette and spouse Floyd Durrosette, sister Samantha Cuevas-Alfred and spouse Lisa Cuevas, sister Amberdawn Alfred, sister Marcella Landis and spouse Garrett Landis, sister Cheyenne Jones, brother Richard Alfred, brother Michael Alfred and partner Nicole, brother Donald Barnes and spouse Callie Barnes, brother Aaron Jones , brother Cody Jones, brother Blake Jones, brother Jason Jones and wife Ashley, nephew Dalton Durrosette and spouse, niece Kate Durrosette, nephew Gage, nephew Levi, nephew, nephew, aunts, uncles, brothers from another mother Ryan Tusia, Justin, Jared and Jason Dillard, Josh Johnston and others who shall remain nameless for reasons I can’t disclose and one French-kissing little Bulgarian Weaselhound named Claire.
Rob will be affectionately remembered for blowing his nose in restaurants in such a disgusting manner it would churn the stomach of manicurist in a leper colony, for randomly pretending to do highly inappropriate things to those in his inner circle, his outer circle, and other circles. And also for his eclectic taste in music (from heavy metal to Frank Sinatra), (after a couple pitchers of beer) dancing that defied the law of gravity, movies (such as Evil Dead and The Last Unicorn) and, prior to Tracy, women. He loved all things outdoors: gardening, disc golf, flying kites, hiking, camping, kayaking, swimming, fishing, peeing on trees and brewing pant cider.
After a divorce and a string of psycho girlfriends, he swore off women for a while and was quoted as saying, “What do I need women for? I got all I need with this little red dog and a jar of peanut butter”. He was a friend to the underdog and, as such, was known to offer free boxing and martial arts lessons to those in need of a good ass-whoopin’.
He packed more life, love, loyalty and laughter into his 48 years than most people could if they had Methuselah’s 969. He will be missed with all the intensity of an Oklahoma tornado. However, we know we shall see him again.
Though they had a falling out many years ago, he and God mended those fences. Rob was heard to have said he found it easier to hear God when out in nature; now he is able also to see the love in his Father’s face. Services to be announced at a later date.
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