Shirley’s Obituary Cape Elizabeth – Shirley Wells Dalbeck passed away on March 10, 2019 with her eldest daughter by her side. Throughout the weekend, she was surrounded by the love of family, friends, and her wonderful caregivers. During her final weekend, we all reminisced about old memories and found new discoveries that were revealed in her memoir and personal archives.
What a treat she left for us to learn even more about her life! Shirley was born on August 24, 1930, in Chicago, Illinois to two traditional Yankees — Chester Ramsey Wells and Elsie Canfield Wells. She was raised, along with her sister, Barbara, in Rocky Hill, Connecticut, outside of Hartford.
She was a smart lady who grew up during the Depression and World War II, which greatly impacted her perspective and her life; but it didn’t diminish the fun and adventures she experienced as a child. When asked by her daughter, Betsey, what key lessons her parents taught her, she said, “If you work hard enough you can do almost anything”. “Do your best”.
And, “Have a steady head on your shoulders”. She followed their advice throughout her own life and imprinted that advice on her children. Shirley was a member of the Junior Red Cross and Girl Scouts during the War and knitted scarves and baked cookies for local area soldiers.
This experience along with a very serious childhood illness led her to an interest in caregiving and fueled her interest in helping others. In high school, she volunteered as a Candy Striper at the Hartford Hospital and at the Hartford Orphanage. With those early experiences and a push from her teachers, Shirley set her sights on college and a five-year nursing degree at Simmons in Boston.
The young girl from rural (at the time) Connecticut, loved big-city Boston adventures as well as her nursing internships and jobs at area hospitals, like Massachusetts General Hospital, Boston Lying Inn (now Brigham and Women’s), and McLean. Rumors have it that as a nursing instructor, Shirley set a high bar for her nursing students. She had high standards because that’s what her patients deserved and the doctors expected.
She indicated that her students probably thought she was a bit of a “grump” or a “grouch”, but we suspect that they also knew she wanted them to succeed like she had and become a top-notch nurse. In Boston, Shirley met Richard “Dick” Dalbeck who was in the Navy, after graduating from Dartmouth. They were apart for 5 months while Dick was on an ice breaker traveling to both the Arctic and Antarctic.
But their romance continued and they married a year and a half after they met, on April 7, 1956. Thereafter, they moved to Brunswick Naval Air Station to finish Dad’s naval commitment. Dick found Shirley a nursing job at Brunswick Community Hospital, a rather big change from the Boston hospitals at which she had trained.
After Maine, they moved to Melrose, Massachusetts and Lynchburg, Virginia during Dad’s years with GE. Shirley also became an Episcopalian, due to the dearth of Congregational Churches down south – many destroyed due to their anti-slavery efforts before and during the Civil War. She wasn’t accustomed to the southern charm of Virginia, and they soon moved back north.
Chicago and New York City were next when Dick left GE and joined AT Kearney Consulting. Shirley raised their growing family. When asked about her greatest regrets, she said — “maybe I should have kept working longer than I did.
But that’s the way it goes when you have kids”. The 1950s were surely a different time, so even though she had liberated herself from the expectations imposed on women of her times, she stopped being a nurse and instead became Dick’s faithful partner, allowing his professional career to flourish. Mom kept an eye on the kids and kept the home front organized, cared for, and full of good “Yankee-style” love.
In 1969, Shirley and Dick took a chance and moved the family back to Maine. Dick joined a small, little insurance company—Union Mutual (now UNUM), which had big dreams and a plan to build a talented executive team to lead and grow the business. The company and Dick’s career thrived through his retirement in 1992.
Shirley and Dick did great things within their communities. Dick was active in business and several civic organizations. Shirley was equally active through their varied civic activities, including their church, Saint Albans and the Cape Elizabeth school system – including bringing her nursing skills to help the school nurses do public health screening and ensuring vaccinations were up-to-date.
She was also active with the PTA and local garden clubs. Their home was full of Shirley’s varied projects. She was a great team player who got the job done and assumed leadership positions when needed.
Through it all, Shirley focused on raising three children, three dogs, a number of cats and varied fish. She had a green thumb, tending her plants, gardens, and created an extensive book collection. She also brought her children and menagerie of pets north for the summers to the family’s treasured cottage in Round Pond, Maine.
Shirley was predeceased by her parents, her husband, Dick, and her sister Barbara MacLean. She leaves behind three children: Barbara Piccirillo and her husband, Peter, of Woolwich, Maine; Betsey Dalbeck of Brookline, Massachusetts; Bruce Dalbeck and his wife, Dr. Christine Bennett, of Portland, Maine. She also leaves behind three wonderful grandchildren, whom she treasured dearly — Andrew Piccirillo of York, Maine and Alicia Piccirillo of Allston, Massachusetts and Benjamin Bromberg of Brookline, Massachusetts.
Her brother-in-law, Richard MacLean, currently resides in Brunswick, Maine. She also leaves behind many great traditions, including inviting her ‘extended family’ up to the Round Pond area during the summer, a tradition Dick and Shirley encouraged. The family wishes to thank the countless caregivers from Aging Excellence who provided 24×7 care for the last year and a half.
Her final wish to age-in-place in her beloved home was made possible by your care, friendship, and love. We also thank Northern Lights Palliative Care and Hospice of Southern Maine for helping our Mom stay comfortable and making her transition as peaceful as possible. In lieu of flowers, please consider donating to the charity of your choice or one of the many organizations Shirley supported, like Sweetser, The Center for Grieving Children, Safe Passage, Jackson Labs, Good Shepherd Food Bank, Gulf of Maine Research Institute, Ronald McDonald House, Camp Sunshine, Habitat for Humanity, Pemaquid Watershed, or The Maine Island Trail.
A memorial service will be held in late-May or early June, when the family will be able to gather and celebrate Shirley’s life. More details to follow. Arrangements entrusted to Hobbs Funeral Home, South Portland.
Online condolences may be expressed at www. hobbsfuneralhome.com.
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